LIES, DANGED LIES,

And Flat-out Untruths

Exodus 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

A gallery of the most hideous, wicked fibs and baloney ever spouted by the lips and minds of modern man!

"The Check is in the mail!"

"I'm from the Government; I'm here to help!"

"I'm a Baptist minister, I'll be brief!"

"I'm not going to spoil the Grandchildren!"

"I won't call anymore!"

The chronic radio station caller (who has NO shot of getting even a facsimile of a life-yep, you know the type: every station has at least one!) after getting blessed out by his favorite DJ for calling too much on the Mooch Line. Especially after the DJ got his own rear end rebuilt by management over how much this idiot ran up the phone bill!

"You'll be home every other weekend!"

-Help Wanted ads for Truck Driver jobs.

"Nobody is going to lose their job!"

-The poor devil who was given the task of breaking the news of the coming takeover to the employees.

Larry "Road Hog" Kenney's two greatest lies in Show Business:

-Courtesy of the Imus in the Morning Show

#1: "The guy with the cocaine will be here in about 20 minutes!"

#2: "There'll be a couple of guys there to help you unload the truck!"